Imagine if marriage was a decision you made at the end of a first date. You would meet someone over drinks or dinner, and then, an hour later, be required to decide “I do,” or “I don’t.” This may sounds like an absurd proposition, but it is in fact almost exactly how we choose our homes.
My partner and I had to move recently, and I was determined to overcome the ‘speed dating’ approach to finding a new home. Choosing a new home isn’t a decision I want to make hastily: I want to find a space in which we will feel at home for years to come, and not merely a place to live. I want to know that I made the right choice: I want to feel comfortable, happy, at peace, and safe in my home, and I want my partner to feel the same way. Since we were unable to linger in these spaces long enough to properly determine make a home in them, I began photographing them in order to document their appearance and layout.
Initially I had assumed that we would be able to make a commitment to a place based upon its structural characteristics. I was wrong, and quickly realized that we need a deeper connection to a space in order to feel at home in it. My realization led me to spend less effort thinking about what the spaces looked like, and more effort in figuring out how they made me feel. I realized that it doesn’t matter if an apartment can fit all of my belongings if I don’t feel like I belong in it.
My partner and I are now settling into our new home. We’re still learning the new space’s quirks and coming to accept the differences it has from our previous homes. It will take time for it to truly feel like our home, but I think we made the right choice.